THAT was amazing? LOL~

[sweety8587]

My friends know how much of a damn pervert I am and thusly, link me to all sorts of Bleach related smutty nonsense that is all kinds of fail.

From two separate fics I bring you utterly RIVETING sex scenes.

Warnings: het sex. very mechanical. No no no machines were involved!


"So they leave and head to the park for a hour. They head to Orihime's apartment. Orihime starts removing her shirt, then her pants. Orihime is now only in her underwear as is Ichigo. They start removing their underwear. Orihime: "you sure about this?". Ichigo: "yes.". Orihime's double d breasts shock Ichigo. Ichigo's 9 inch penis has Orihime shocked. Now Ichigo starts to put his dick into Orihime's pussy. Orihime gasps. Ichigo moans. They start having sex doggy sytle.

They keep on saying i love you' every few minutes. As Ichigo rapidly takes his dick to where it is almost all the way out and just rams it into Orihime's pussy. About two hours later they finish their third time. Ichigo: "Orihime that was amazing!". Orihime: "i know i never knew you were so big.". Ichigo: "and i never knew your tits were that big.". Orihime: "well... we should get dressed.". Ichigo: "okay.". So they start getting dressed and throw away the condoms they used. Orihime: "bye i'll see you in school tommorow!".

--

They head over to Orihime's apartment. They get there and start undressing. Ichigo watches as Orihime takes off her bra and panties. He starts to get an erection. Orihime watches Ichigo as he takes off his boxers. She starts to get wet. Ichigo: "Orihime i hope you know that i love you.". Orihime: "i know Ichigo. I hope you know that i love you.". They start having sex. Ichigo insterts his 9 inch dick into Orihime's pussy. Ichigo takes his dick until it's almost all the way out and rams it back into Orihime. Orihime moans when he does this. After one hour.Ichigo: "that was amazing.". Orihime: "i second that."
--

Virgins~ They have no idea what constitutes as "amazing" sex~

Comments

[sarcasmmonster.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

BRB, LOLING FOREVER.

[amorphic.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. There are no words.

LMAO.

[miszxbrii.livejournal.com]

Sweet Jesus in a biscuit that was the most funniest thing ever. Loling all over the place.

[nagicakes.livejournal.com]

(http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v294/Nagi_san/GIFs/?action=view&current=001fr2ey.gif)

I love how they have to reiterate that Ichigo apparently has a "9 inch dick." XD

[sweety8587.livejournal.com]

clearly its VITAL to the plot XD

[kenkai-chan.livejournal.com]

...Wow. I'm a virgin and I think I write better smut than that, and that's saying a LOT.

[sweety8587.livejournal.com]

*is also a virgin* and YEP. I dont mean to brag but I've written better smut that than this as well. Then again, how HARD is it to write smut better than this? XD